Fook ya! Count to 1,000,000!

2589.

Ooooh, okay. For some reason I thought that they marked them when they subbed them Blonde moment lol. But HURRAY!!!!!! I'm so happy

2590.

I want to die. Really....I REALLY WANT TO DIE!!! I wish that I never came to this stupid country, I wish that the 2012 apocalypse really happened so I wouldn't be living right now, I REALLY wish that my Nursing Research teacher can just drop dead...no. That's bad---> I wish that I could just drop dead. I hate my life....I hate my classmates (majority of them anyway) and I want to just drop dead. I study and study and study and be a good student and become a more positive person and what do I get?....Stupid shit! I hate my life so much and I wish I could die already!!!!!!!!!! F***ing 2013....

2734. (I added everything up again, and this, I think, is the correct number of posts. Please forgive me if my math is off!)

Mango, what happened???

2736. yea mango, what's up?

2737.

I've been miserable since 2013 started. I'm a very lazy student- I never study for exams and I always do things last minute. But despite that, I always get passing grades. But this April, I'll be affiliating (I'll be going to the city with my classmates for a month and we'll be going to various hospitals- like a mental hospital and such) and in May, I'll be going back to Hawaii after 5 years cause I finally have vacation time. So I've been changing my attitude and been the perfect student so I can go. If I don't affiliate, then I can't graduate. I've been trying my very hardest in school lately.

During my Political Science class, my teacher decides to humiliate me in front of the class and he even makes fun of my accent (since I'm originally from the US). And that class is has a mixture of students from different departments. So I could hear the other students talking about me, teasing me and pitying me behind my back, thinking I couldn't understand them. I cried forever that night.

Then, my fucking NRES teacher also humiliated me a few days ago because I didn't know the 3 methods of communication. It's not fair since he asked my friend this question first and when my friend got it wrong, he left it alone. Then my teacher turned to me (who just happened to be standing nearby, waiting to get my work checked) and when I got the question wrong, he looked at me like I was an idiot and told me to ask the dean about the methods. And we're at the office so there was no escape. I was humiliated and scared since this is the DEAN OF NURSING for goodness sake! The Dean then scolded me and said "You are already a third year but you don't know this". I just wanted to scream "But no one else does neither!!!" and my NRES teacher was just smiling at the whole thing.

Then my breaking point was last night- during NRES again. We had our midterm exams and I studied very hard for this. It's based on calculations and I doubled and tripled check my answers. As I was about to leave, my teacher called me and told me to check my paper to see what I did wrong. Apparently, I stupidly switched 2 numbers around. But even so, my end result (which was a hypothesis) was correct- the only difference was that I was 2 points off my calculations. But that fucking ass of a teacher just shook his head, laughed and said "Better luck next time" and he marked my paper with a FAILING GRADE! So I failed the freaking midterms!!! And he did this with the entire class watching, mind you. I just grabbed my stuff and left. My friend was waiting outside, but I told her to leave me alone for awhile since I was gonna cry and I didn't want her to see.

I really want to die. I tried and tried my best and it ends up in failure. I should just go back to my old ways already. I've also been on my period lately so that doesn't help with my physical and emotional status. I really want to just off myself already. There's no point if I fail in everything. I tried to sleep it off, but when I woke up just now, I still feel depressed and really, really FURIOUS!!! I really should just jump off the school building and land in front of the nursing office so they can feel some remorse as they look at my dead body. URGGGHHHHHVYF*^$*^$&(FYVR^%&#%^#$W^RD!!!!!!!!! Why can't I die already......
Oh! And sorry I haven't been around here lately. I haven't received any 'post notifications' in my email so I totally forgot about this forum. Gomenasai.....

2739. WHAT? Mango that's BULLSHIT! You can't talk to anyone about what the NRES teacher did? Because seriously, I would say that that is intentional public humiliation and it is totally inappropriate for a teacher to be doing, and it also compromises your marks.

But don't you dare think it's your fault, not for a second. Seriously, please don't take your own life. I know things are rough now but you won't ever find out if they get better if you end it now. And we love you and we're here to support you no matter what. <3

(also just a quick aside to Lychee: I got the kigurumi from the anime convention I was at last weekend; Kigurumi Canada is an online store that also goes to cons sometimes, it imports official kigurumis from Japan and sells them. :3)

2740.

There's absolutely NOTHING I can do about it. Cause there's one thing about my NRES teacher........he's the husband of the dean. They're both MARRIED. So I can't complain cause who would I complain to? And my grandma is friends with the dean so I'll probably only get scolded and won't be able to affiliate. I usually can ignore things like this (since it's happened many times before), but I just feel so deflated and useless at the moment. I really just want to die already............

2741. HOLY SHIT MANGO! that sounds fucked up to the MAX! is there not a president of the school or some sort of board you can complain about? or maybe search for a forum or blog that addresses your school and complain about the teacher. or even you can start something online anonymously to expose him. (of course that is risky though). Just remember that this stuff is TEMPORARY! there is no point or reason for you to get upset and cry or get depressed. No matter what YOU HAVE TO FINISH YOUR SCHOOL! no matter what shit you take in.. maybe they are trying to push you harder to do better. i can understand in that part of the world, school is alot of tougher! so just take it as constructive criticism and you have to prove them wrong and that you are FULLY capable and you won't allow them to upset you! YOU CAN DO IT MANGO!

2742.

Haaiiiiii.....I'll do my best. I know that I'll get over this, but in the meantime, I'm just wallowing in my self-pity. I'll try to cheer up.

On brighter news, my japanese has been improving. I still can't speak it (except few words and phrases) but I'm able to understand 52% of it now....And I'm planning to change my signature and userpic soon- I got into a new obsession (although Mao-chan is still my #1 )

2744.

Mango, I'm sorry that you have to go through hell at your school. But just keep the end goal in mind: to graduate and go back home(or, well, whatever your main goal is ). Don't give in when things bring you down. You are strong. You are better than the people who hurt you. You WILL make it through. Plus, you always have your mini support team over here to cheer you on Speaking of which, here are some supportive gif hugs to make you feel better, from us to you:

Spoiler:

2745.
You're all right. Thanks you guys for all the support! And Pretzel, my main goal is to graduate, pass the board exam and go home and never come back to the Philippines again (unless it's for vacation or whatever). Until then, I'll keep fighting....
Now I'm off to school- and today's a SUNDAY just to let you all know.....

2746.

I'm feeling much better now- my friend's cheered me up and told me that my teacher isn't targeting me- he apparently hates my whole class or something, I dunno. He also failed more than half of my class as well- that fucking ass. Also, my close friend made me fried rice (my favorite food) so I'm not too depressed anymore (only just a bit). Thank you all for cheering me up!
And here is my new signature and avatar for 2013...just saying~

2748.

I'm glad your feeling better, Mango Fried rice sounds delicious and very comforting

So, tell me about your new signature? They, well, obviously look like guys(very very cute guys) from bands, so are they any good? I'm always interested in new music, so do you have any recommendations for their music?

2748.

You're signature and Avatar looks great as it is, Taco. But if your want to change it, I'm interested in what you choose.

And I'll tell you about the bands when I come back from school later, Pretzel- I REALLY love these bands though And the guys in my signature is my favorite guy from each band (actually, Chinen is my favorite guy from Hey! Say! JUMP, but I couldn't find any good gifs of him, so I went with my second favorite).

2750.

Who would you change yours to, Taco? And thank you Mango! I shall await your answer

I like how you all change your signatures, etc. and I'm just over here with the exact same one since I could figure out how to make them. Well, not exactly the original. I eventually centered the image and changed the coloring of one of the words. Yeah, BIG changes, I know

2752. ooo mango, nice eye candy! who are the two on your avatar?

and oo taco, who would of thought you would change it to kyung.

2754. huh? sarcasm? no. I just want to know who the two guys are in the avatar? that's all i'm just curious..

2756. hahaha yea maybe a little bit of sarcasm there! HEHEHE!