Fook ya! Count to 1,000,000!

2953.

That is really nice of her. I love the banner!

Happy Birthday Cinnamon!!!!!!!!

2954. thank yoooou! Being nineteen feels little different from being eighteen, except slightly richer because my grandparents gave me birthday money. XD

2955.

I felt the same way. But hey, being richer is always a good thing

2956. WOW I LOVE THE BANNER~ happy birthday cinnamon!

2957. Thank you!

also
kingdom hearts three you guys
I'm gonna cry

I just got a 3DS for my birthday yesterday so that I could finally, FINALLY, play Kingdom Hearts 3D

AND NOW THIS

2958. also Lychee I fixed your sig for you so that the red didn't leak all over the place and the tags were in the right place, hope you don't mind. XD (if you're looking to make it regular size again, because all I did was put the font size tags that were there in the right place, just delete the font tags.)

2959. oh thank you boo yea it was weird, the red kept leaking everywhere.. THANK YOU!

2960. no problem! It was weird, the tags were all in the wrong places. XD like, the "/color" tag was in the middle of another tag. but it's all good now.

2961.

Drat! I wrote a birthday message for you Cinnamon on your birthday, but it's not there. I mustn't have uploaded it properly. Oh, well.
Happy belated birthday and I hope you had a wonderful day.

In my post that didn't work, I said that I was at my dad's house but I would be coming back to my mum's the next day because she changed her mind about kicking me out. I was gone for 5 days and when I came back to my mum's an argument started within 30 seconds of my walking in the door! I knew the truce wouldn't last long but 30 seconds is just ridiculous!

I have to stay here at the moment because I'm starting a placement on Monday. Still looking for a place of my own but there's very little out there and absolutely nothing I can afford. Even with benefits to subsidise rent, I would be left with no money for food or bills. Because of this, I'm entitled to support in getting a place cheaper, but I will have to wait a while - probably months.

I've just applied for a job so I've got my fingers crossed I'll get it. My lack of experience my be my downfall but let's just see what happens anyway. With a decent income, I could afford a flat and could get out of here sooner.

My cat is glad I'm back (because I spoil him rotten while my mum doesn't even give him treats).

I finished all my exams but they all went badly. I was stressed to high heaven with everything my mum was doing that my revision suffered enormously and she even yelled at me from 10 until midnight when I had an exam first thing the next morning. I kept pleading with her that I had to sleep but she wouldn't stop. When I woke up, I was so sick and exhausted that I almost didn't go in for my exam but I forced myself anyway. I now need to take another year out of my life to repeat the exams again (if the school will let me) and I'll have to fork out over one hundred pounds (again) to pay for the exams.

This is just depressing. I got a bonsai tree in September last year and it was doing poorly. I was having a rough time too so I said we'd both make it through together (kinda weird, I know). I'm sure the tree is dead. It hasn't had any leaves in months and it's the height of summer here. I've been taking good care of it but it just didn't make it. (Is this a sign for me?)

I saw another one in the garden centre which I might buy next time I'm there. It was pretty cheap.

I'm taking things one day at a time and pushing all the bad stuff to the back of my mind so I'm sort of coping. I'll be travelling to a big hospital in the capital next month to see a specialist doctor. Hopefully that will be things taking a turn for the better. Being in pain all the time is certainly not fun.

Sorry for being such a downer but I just needed to vent a bit. I can't leave everyone depressed like this so
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2962. Thank you! I had a pretty good birthday.

also ugh your mooooom. That's horrible of her, how dare she prevent you from sleeping before an exam! That is actually the worst thing, she should be the one paying for the exam retakes because it's her damn fault. I wish there was some way I could help you with getting away from her. >.<

And that really really sucks about the expensive apartments and also the bonsai (I have no green thumb at all so I don't even try to raise plants XD). I hope you can get a good place of your own soon, maybe even one where you can take your cat with you.

Also I really hope that things work out for you with the job and the doctor! You've been through so much shit, I want things to start to get better for you with some extra money and hopefully less or no physical pain.

And don't worry about venting, we're always here to listen. <3

2963.

That's good that you had a nice day.

Yeah, my mum is certainly something right? I spend a lot of my time complaining because it's my best outlet but I'm a fairly optimistic person (usually). When I'm down, I'm really seriously depressed but for the most part, I make the best of it and hope for things to get better.

I have been submerging myself in all things Spamano because they are my favourite ship right now. And best of all, I recently found out my cousin (who is one of my closest friends) ships gay couples and looks up fanart and fanfiction and stuff. Why have you been hiding this from me Cuz? We coulda been fangirling together all this time!

We spent AGES talking about our OTP's and she was showing me fanart and everything. I think this is the start of something good.

On a side note, I have reached my goal of being on the 20 top posters. I noticed it a while ago but forgot to say. I'm I still on it? /goes to check/

2964. Haha, I had a moment like that a few months ago. I met a friend during an online course for high school. We started talking about Kingdom Hearts, first in the public message board in the introductions thread (she'd mentioned she likes video games and I'd asked her which ones), and then using the class's private chat system, and then after a while she asked me if I had Tumblr so we exchanged Tumblr URLs. Before we followed each other on Tumblr, it turns out each of us was holding back because we were worried what the other would think about shipping Axel and Roxas, even though we both ship them with the burning passion of a thousand suns. XD

but I'm glad you're optimistic and you've got an escape for your frustrations! Sometimes that's the thing that helps you make it through shitty things.

and congrats! I used to be the number 1 top poster when the forum was really in full swing, but I think most of the other ladies who come here frequently have got me beat now. >w<

2965. ...
...
...FRIENDS WHERE HAVE YOU ALL GONE

2966.

I'm still here!  

2967. I"M HERE TOO!

2968.

How has everyone's Summer been going so far?

It has been hot around here (duh  ) but I've just been continuing with my writing work.

2969. I haven't actually been doing a whole lot. XD I'm getting driving lessons, which are kind of stressful because my instructor's a bit impatient, but it's getting done and then my parents can get off my back about not knowing how to drive. >w<

also I selected courses for university next year! I'm taking a course on the Civil War for my mandatory history credit as a history major, and then I'm also taking Women & Gender Studies, Human Rights, Sociology (first semester) and Anthropology (second semester), and, of all things, American Sign Language! I'm excited about that one, but also a bit nervous because I've never been good with learning new languages. I hope this one's gonna be easier for me since it's so different.
They're all two semester courses except for Sociology and Anthropology. ALSO I GET FRIDAYS OFF WOO-HOO.

2970.

Sorry for being AWOL. I've been very busy trying to sort my life out. My exams went really badly thanks to my mother being a dick. She's not talking to me again. In fact, she hasn't even looked at me in a week. I know it sounds mean but I just don't care anymore. I've tried so many times over the years to have some sort of relationship with her but she just doesn't want to, so I give up. She never got the daughter she wanted and she won't accept me for who I am so she's just going to have to deal with having no daughter.

Anyway, I've applied to a course as a back up. If I don't get the grades to get into uni, I can do this course and then progress to university. I'm just waiting for an interview where they will assess my suitability for the course.

I've also got an appointment with a specialist doctor in 2 days and I'm freaking out. I don't know what to say to him. I'm gonna try and write down all the important facts so I don't forget what to say. And my dad's coming with me for support. I really hope there's something this doctor can do to fix things. I'm tried of being in pain all the time and not being able to exercise or go to karate or live my life normally.

I've been blocking out all thoughts about the operation as much as possible for months so it's gonna be really difficult for me to read through my personal records of it and everything, and the doctor's report (which is all lies). But I have to do it. This could be the first step to getting this horrible chapter of my life over and done with.

2971. ugh I definitely do not blame you for being fed up with her, she does not sound like a very nice person at all. I hope your uni grades work out, and even if they don't, then I hope everything works out with that other course for you.

And best of luck with the doctor! I actually am having my own operation this summer, although it's just my wisdom teeth coming out at the end of August. I'm still nervous, though, I don't think I've ever had an operation like that before and I'm pretty sensitive to stuff that goes on in my mouth (I have a sensitive gag reflex and a sensitive sense of taste, and it kinda sucks XD). But yeah, even if it's stressful, it's good that you might be able to stop feeling so much pain! And it's awesome that your dad's willing to come along too.

2972.

Honeycomb!!!!     I missed you.

I'm sorry that your exams went so bad and that your mother continues to frustrate you.  But I am glad that you have a back up plan!  I hope that the course thing goes well.

I hope that everything goes well with your doctor visit!  I know from talking with others that it is a horrible thing when a surgery goes wrong, but at least there is potential of being able to recover from it, and at least you have your father for support  

Whatever happens, know that you have a little group of supporters over here that wish you the best and want you to be happy    

I guess I had 'surgery' when I had all of my wisdom teeth pulled (I was just knocked out because that was the standard procedure).  Thankfully I recovered quickly and well. I'm sure you'll do fine, Cinnamon. I recovered and was able to eat regular food just fine in about two weeks (mostly because I was paranoid about eating food and getting it pushed back there, so I mostly avoided solids probably longer than needed  ).

2973.

*Peeks in*

I'M BACKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!


It's been a while. I'm really busy dealing with my LAST YEAR of college right now, but I'll tell you guys all about my affiliation and summer vacation when I have time.

2974.

I seriously need to vent. I have been through the biggest pile of shit today. I tried to explain things to him but he wouldn't listen. He didn't care that I was in pain and made a pile of crap excuses which didn't apply to my situation and told me he would not do anything at all to help me. Fuck him! Fuck him with something hard and sandpaper-y! Asshole!

I'm too tired to continue this rant. I'll finish it some other time. At the same time, I want to both lie down and do nothing for the rest of my life and I want to smash everything in sight to pieces while screaming every swear word I can think of.

2975. wtf was this the specialist doctor?! BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW YOU FUCKIN' DO A THING, MR. DOCTOR. Doctors are supposed to help people and if he's not going to listen to the patient to help find out what's wrong, then he's not even doing his job properly.
Is there anywhere else you can try? I'm sure there's SOMEONE who'll be able to help with the pain.

also hello Mangooo~

2976.

Yep, that was the supposed 'specialist' doctor. I have done some research and I can find anything about him ever doing this procedure. I also came across a documentary of an incident 11 years ago where he was supposed to do a minor operation on a woman but during surgery, he changed it to major surgery without consent and ending up severely injuring her bowels, to the extent that she died shortly afterwards.

Perhaps I have dodged a bullet and this is really a blessing in disguise. I'm looking into getting it done privately but that's a lot of money (like £4000) and it is very difficult to find anyone who does this operation privately. On top of that, there are practically no rules on who can to surgery. I mean a dentist could legally do any surgical operation after attending a one day lecture. It's ridiculous! And we call ourselves a developed country - it's pathetic!

I'm doing as much research as I can and I think I will see some surgeons for consultations - I can ask to see their qualifications then, and if they're not up to scratch, I'll look elsewhere.

It's very difficult for me to know how to go about things. I'm so depressed and pissed off about this whole situation.

2977. damn, that's scary stuff. You probably did dodge a bullet there, that guy sounds like a crappy surgeon.
Also that sucks that it's so expensive to get done privately. But I think that you shouldn't give up and keep looking around, because even if it's frustrating, it could help eventually get rid of the pain. :3 I wish I could be more help with how to go about it, but I don't know much about looking for surgeons. >.< but seeing what you can find about them on the internet is probably a good idea, so you don't end up with people like that first guy who don't seem to know what they're doing.