2941.
Thank you so much you guys!
I don't know what I'd do without you. My best friend is too busy to spend time with me. (I don't blame her - she's doing an extremely demanding university course and spends so much time travelling - I'm sure she's knackered after all that). I have my cousin and she's been great. Her and her parents have allowed me to come over whenever I need an escape but I couldn't live with them because they don't have room for me and even if they did, I don't want to impose my eating habits on them. My uncle cooks for the family but I am a very fussy eater and don't eat the same as everyone else. It works fine in my house because my mum neither buys food for me or cooks anything for me. I just buy what I want and cook it myself. It works fine at my dad's house too because we all work together to cook.
I suppose it wouldn't be too bad to live there. He lives in the town I grew up in and I've always planned to return there when I was older. While my brother feels that the town I'm in now is home, I've always felt more at home in the town I grew up in. There's an old mansion with big, beautiful gardens to walk around (which is my favourite place in the world and we treat it like our own backyard because we're always there), a big hill with an old tower overlooking the town (which I can see from my bedroom window at my dad's house), it's situated on a lough where all the Brent geese stop off during their migration, and there's a flying club and lots of little airplanes that fly over the town. Plus they have my favourite Chinese restaurant/take away (actually I won't eat at any other one).
All this town has to offer is it's only about five miles from nice beaches and for how little I actually get to the beach, it's not that important.
The only bad side to moving would be imposing on him and his girlfriend, leaving the people I know (some of which I want to leave anyway), and I'll probably fight with my dad more. I can't stay with him for more than 5 days without us having a big argument (over something trivial) which always ends in tears. However, it's nothing like the argument I have with my mum, and me and my dad always make up shortly after. He can be quite bad-tempered at times despite usually being easy-going and I'm extremely stubborn so it's usually him who apologises first. Apologies don't work with my mum. If you do something, even if it's an accident, she holds it over you for the rest of your life. She may brush it to the side for as long as she can use someone, but once she can't get anything else out of them, all your faults are suddenly on her lips every time she sees you.
It's 10 o'clock at night and she's only just asked me why I haven't left my room all day (and not in a caring way). I've been really sick all day so I've been in bed all day, haven't eaten much and I've thrown up what little I have eaten.
Cinnamon and Pretzel, it's good to know I have people I can turn to who care. I don't get out much to meet new people. I used to do karate but I had to stop after my operation that went wrong and left my in too much pain to exercise. Even walking presents a problem but I have to do it because I have know other way to get about and I don't want to be an unhealthy weight. My mum makes no allowances for my pains. A few days after I got out of hospital, I even fell down the stairs and when I screamed out in pain, all she did was shout "Stop making weird noises!"
In other news, my ex-boyfriend who I went out with years ago, has moved out of the house next door to us. We didn't speak for a while after we broke up (because he'd been cheating on me) but foe the past few years, we've been on civil terms. We say "hello" and occasionally chat to each other. I don't have any grudges against him whatsoever. I was young and probably stupid to go out with him even though we had nothing much in common, but still, I have no regrets because we never got beyond holding hands and the occasional hug. I still see him about town and still talk to him and his dad too.